Users of more civilized languages (such as INTERCAL) have advanced into making the programer be a little more polite in order to counteract unnecessary hubris. The compiler will make sure you are polite in your source code, and give a fatal error if you don't. But don't try to fool the compiler by giving faux politeness everywhere, or it will still fail to compile.

Because of the barbaric orgins of Perl, it lacks a please() function in the basic language. I hope to help rectify this in a future version, but until then you can use the please() function in this module. May it help you find your new identity as a civilized coder!

package Acme::Polite;
no strict;    # Strict isn't very polite
no warnings;  # Neither is warnings
use Filter::Util::Call;

use constant CEILING  => 10; # Must be at least this polite
use constant FLOOR    => 3;  # But not too polite

sub import 
{
    my $pkg = shift;
    my $ref = [];
    filter_add( bless $ref => $pkg );
}

sub filter 
{
    my $self = shift;

    my $status;
    while( ($status = filter_read) > 0 ) {
        # noop
    }
    my $source = $_;

    my $semi_count    = () = $source =~ /(;)/g;
    my $please_count  = () = $source =~ /(please)/g;
    my $politeness_rating = $semi_count / $please_count;

    if( $politeness_rating < FLOOR ) {
        die "You were too polite!\n";
    }
    elsif( $politeness_rating > CEILING ) {
        die "You weren't polite enough!\n";
    }

    return $status;
}

sub please { return @_ }


1;
__END__
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