Options +ExecCGI
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Yep, I've already got that line in httpd.conf. All scripts are owned by apache, executable by everyone... I'm pretty sure it's a setup problem because I can't even get the stupid Hello World to print out, but I've not done perl thru cgi/apache before.

AddHandler cgi-script .cgi .pl LoadModule perl_module modules/mod_perl.so

You probably need more than that simple line in your httpd.conf. For example, here are some entries for mod_perl in my old httpd.conf from a default slackware system. This isn't an answer to your specific problem, but I'm showing it so you can see all the other conf entries which you may need.

There are some more mod_perl tips at Can't figure with mod_perl

#<Directory /home/*/public_html/mod_perl>
#AllowOverride FileInfo AuthConfig Limit
#    Options MultiViews Indexes SymLinksIfOwnerMatch IncludesNoExec
#Options MultiViews Indexes SymLinksIfOwnerMatch
#SetHandler perl-script
#PerlHandler Apache::Registry
#PerlSendHeader On
#Options +ExecCGI
#    <Limit GET POST OPTIONS PROPFIND>
#        Order allow,deny
#        Allow from all
#    </Limit>
#    <LimitExcept GET POST OPTIONS PROPFIND>
#        Order deny,allow
#        Deny from all
#    </LimitExcept>
#</Directory>



<IfModule mod_perl.c>
# Provide two aliases to the same cgi-bin directory,
# to see the effects of the 2 different mod_perl modes.
# for Apache::Registry Mode
ScriptAlias /perl/          "/srv/www/cgi-bin/"
# for Apache::Perlrun Mode
ScriptAlias /cgi-perl/      "/srv/www/cgi-bin/"
</IfModule>

#
# If mod_perl is activated, load configuration information
#
<IfModule mod_perl.c>
Perlrequire /usr/include/apache/modules/perl/startup.perl
PerlModule Apache::Registry


#
# set Apache::Registry Mode for /perl Alias
#
#<Location /perl>
#SetHandler  perl-script
#PerlHandler Apache::Registry
#Options ExecCGI  FollowSymLinks
#PerlSendHeader On
#</Location>

#
# set Apache::PerlRun Mode for /cgi-perl Alias
#
<Location /cgi-perl>
SetHandler  perl-script
PerlHandler Apache::PerlRun
Options ExecCGI
PerlSendHeader On
</Location>

</IfModule>
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