In response to johnathon's question, I tried to make a poem without using my or die!

 
$patience = 15;         # how many years can you wait for happiness?
$happy = -10;           # how happy are you now?
$cant_go_on = -5000;    # how unhappy can you be before its not worth 
+it?
$memory = 16384;        # how much can you remember?
# What makes life good?
@GOODTHINGS = ("love", "beauty", "innocence", "happiness", "friends", 
+"nature", "life");
# What makes it painful/stressful/depressing?
@BADTHINGS = ("greed", "money", "power", "corruption", "depression", "
+lunacy", "illness", "death");

CONSIDER: { open(LIFE, "<life.txt"); }  # reflect on our life..

CYCLE: while(!$happy && $patience) {
        select LIFE;
        $age++; 
        $time = tell;
        $patience--;
        read LIFE, $year, $memory;
        $memory--;
        if($year) {
                foreach $good (@GOODTHINGS) {
                        while($year =~ /$good/g) {
                                $happy++;
                        }
                }
                foreach $bad (@BADTHINGS) {
                        while($year =~ /$bad/g) { 
                                $happy--;
                        }
                }
        }
}
if(!$patience) {
        # reconsider our life if we've run out of patience
        goto CONSIDER unless $happy <= $cant_go_on; $happy=undef;
        # if we can't go on, then sleep forever
        sleep;
}
else {
        # revel in our happiness!
        &enjoy($happy);
        redo CYCLE;                      # continue our life..
}
sub enjoy {
        $reset = 0;
        $patience = 15 - ($age/15);      # Regen patience :)
        $memory = 16384 - 10*$age;       # Refesh your mind :)
        $happy = $reset;                 # but now it wears off..
}
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maybe I should stop writing perl poetry and get back to work? hehehehe..

-brad..