Heh.... you just made me think of something evil on the fly...

while(){

while($volume<=255) {
get("http://localhost:4800/setvolume?p=pass&level=$volume");
$volume++;
}

while($volume>=0) {
get("http://localhost:4800/setvolume?p=pass&level=$volume");
$volume--;
}
}
[download]

If you tried that on him, he wouldn't know what to do.