FileMaker Pro
May this never happen to me again.

I'll echo that one. My very first database experience was adapting an old FileMaker Pro database that one group at my college was using- that was one of the most frustrating jobs I've had. yuck.

Thankfully, now I just use oracle at work. We have a lot of perl modules already written that are specific to what I work on, so it's super easy to use- I just need to call the right functions.