A conversation I had with some of my non-programmer friends:

Jen:  Ovid, what have you been doing lately?
Ovid:  Reading "Mastering Regular Expressions."

... short pause followed by much laughter ...

Jen:  I thought you knew how to talk!
Greg:  Hello, how are you?
Jen:  Can you direct me to my hotel?
Greg:  How much for twenty minutes?

Of course, I had to kill and eat them afterwards.