Compiles, not intended to run. Is not warnings-safe.

@perl = qw[regex algorithm syntax modules fmteyewtk];

while ( @perl != $is_mastered ) {
    open BOOK, '<', $panther or do {
        require Book::Panther;
        next;
    };
    read (BOOK, $knowledge, $attention_span);
    close BOOK;
    
    open BOOK, '<', $owl or do {
        require Book::Owl;
        next;
    };
    read (BOOK, $knowledge, $attention_span);
    close BOOK;

    open SOURCE, '<', $cpan or do {
        require Net:HTTP;
        next;
    };
    read (SOURCE, $knowledge, $attention_span);

    open my $MIND, '>+', Possibility->new() or die();
}
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Bugs:

• my $MIND is closed immediately after opening. This is an unintended side-effect of my employment. ;-)
• $knowledge appears to be overwritten everytime I read. In reality, it's a tied variable that causes it to be appended to (and $is_mastered to be marginally updated) on every assignment.
• I'm not really that amusing or intelligent. This bug has been marked CAN'T FIX.