I'm convinced there is some weird rule in Perl that I'm not following.

Yep. That rule is use warnings;

use warnings;

my $value1, $real1, $complex1;
__END__

Parentheses missing around "my" list at - line 3.
Useless use of a variable in void context at - line 3.
Useless use of a variable in void context at - line 3.
[download]