Anyone into Canadian politics?

my @ideals = ('honesty', 'integrity', 'responsibility');

$elected = 'again';

abuse() if $elected;
ignore() until $caught;
$judge = $judge || 'Gomery';
investigate();
report();

sub clear {
  print "\n";
}

sub ignore {
  $almost_caught++;
  if ($almost_caught > length 'a lot') { $caught = 'caught'; }
}

sub investigate {
  our @liberals = ('blame', 'Paul Martin', 'Ralph Goodale', 'Jean Lapi
+erre');
  our @past = ('Jean Chretien', 'Jacques Corriveau', 'Jean Pelletier')
+;
  @friends = @liberals;
  shift @friends, 'blame';
  push @past, 'blame';
}

sub report {
  $, = ', '; 
  print 'Absolve', @friends;
  clear();
  print 'Blame', @past;
  clear();
  return;
}

sub abuse {
  $lie++;
  $cheat++; 
  $steal++;

  shift @ideals unless 'people care';
  push  @ideals, 'out of the way';
  sort  @ideals if 'in the way';
}
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