Bah, this is what I get for being lazy. ;)

Instead of creating a file so that I could open it via the $fh filehandle, I used the following snippet:

# sort method
my @values = qw( one foo bar one baz two quack baz );
my %h = ();
foreach (@values) {
    $h{ $_ } ||= $.;
}

print "\n\nSort method:\n";
print (join ", ", sort { $h{a} cmp $h{b} } keys %h);
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And totally missed the fact that Moron was using $. as the hash value. Thanks for pointing out what I should have already noticed.