in reply to Re^8: Go to?
in thread Go to?

I appreciate your thoughtful response, and that you did not take offense at my remarks. :)

Two thoughts:

While both of those quotes can be found in the Christian Bible, I think that they are applicable to people of any faith (or none), in that they accurately depict real life (in addition to having spiritual value). We all admire someone who is 'big enough' to overlook a petty insult, someone who is not easily distracted from their goal by divisive remarks. And I think I am not alone in being motivated to help a humble person while desiring to 'take down a peg or two' a person who comes across as arrogant.

Although you are not the first to complain of 'bullying' or 'abuse' in this community, I'm not sure street sense will be very helpful here. After all, PerlMonks is almost entirely an exchange of words (and in some cases, ideas) between strangers. I've only met one other monk in real life (merlyn) that I know of, and although I found him to be a likeable and intelligent man, I'm pretty sure he doesn't know me from Adam (except that I'm alive and, thankfully, wear more than a fig leaf). To me (and I think to many others, including those inclined to nitpick) this community is just a fun place to exchange ideas in relative anonymity, and it is not possible to be abused here if one keeps a level head and doesn't take one's self too seriously. Ultimately, the only victory anyone can score against you here is to goad you into writing things that tarnish your own soul.

I would cheerfully let someone 'stand on me' verbally if I thought it would help me to get an answer I badly needed, and I would feel in no way diminished by the exchange. My 'rights' (to be treated respectfully, to be honored as a person) are not my master; I can (and do) freely waive them if they keep me from my objectives. While I'm not a pacifist, I can conceive of situations in which I might choose to waive my 'right' to defend myself physically, as well. But we are not playing for such high stakes here.

I'm not just trying to get the last word ... I really think that you should re-evaluate the way you think of this online community. It is a lot more fun to view it as a game or contest of wits than to take it personally, in my opinion. :)


No good deed goes unpunished. -- (attributed to) Oscar Wilde