As mentioned right at the start of this thread: in its current state Perl is unable to syntax check code inside BEGIN blocks without executing that code. And that is unlikely to change within the lifetime of your current project. Given that you have $some_quantity of code to verify, all you can really do is follow the advice given by TedPride and chromatic earlier, or come up with some other workaround. Assuming, of course, that you want to get the job done.

If, however, you just want to vent, may I refer you to something which may explain the "vehemence" you're seeing.

Good luck.