I'm actually surprised. Aside from the complete lack of context, any explanation of what's expected, any error messages, or useful direction besides the Neanderthalic "Ugh code no work" I could see where this might actually be the first recent posting have a vague marginal amount of Perl relevance out of the gate which wasn't stealth edited in after people have already downvoted it into the bowels of Worst Nodes.

Granted he's still a bozo who won't bother to learn from How (Not) To Ask A Question no matter how many people point him at it.

And I still want my pony.