Interesting solution you suggest, but AFAIK there is no "empty" DBD-driver available which does what you want.

Also, most probably as soon as the first SQL-command is run and it does not return with the expected data, the script will crash, die or otherwise stop working.

FInally, it is sufficient to have one "SELECT * FROM table" to get totally stuck as you will never find out what fields were expected, unless you go by hand through the code and trace what all the returned data is expected to do / contain.