Please people, stop reinventing the wheel. There are perfectly good modules out there for everything you need to do ;)

#!/usr/bin/perl
$_ = q q/${$a}/;
use japh;              #prints just another perl hacker
my $text = new japh;
$_ = $text->simplejaph();
$_="2gt2 3gw34w2 as5533kljt" && q;/\#\w+\s([ a-z]+)/;;
$_=${/a/};
print
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When's the last time you used duct tape on a duct? --Larry Wall