Actually, I'm figuring that the idea of "someone being first" is that their votes are public first. Not that they get to be first in knowing, but they are the first to be known.

Unless I'm not getting your point, I don't think you read what I wrote carefully enough:

[...] are you volunteering to be first? Should we make public the complete list of all of your downvotes? [...] surely you've only ever downvoted responsibly and no person will be the slightest upset at your judicious and enlightened use of downvotes

"Your downvotes" that "you" (xorl) cast, not received.