First off, Postgres allows for stored procedures in almost any language, including Perl. Though, see some of my posts as to my opinion on stored procedures.

But, there is another solution - DBM::Deep is Perl datastructures backed by disk instead of RAM plus transactions. Now that DBM::Deep has transactions, I'm hoping to actually get Presto up and running. It won't be as fast as the hand-tuned code that the major RDBMSes have, but it will be Perlish and be object-centered vs. row-centered.