In my more down moments I have used "If you didn't suck so much, $! would never have occured"

On a slightly related note I was once programming a javascript form validator (compulsory fields) that used to pop up with messages like "You didn't enter your name! What's wrong with you, can't you remember your name and phone number at the same time?" and variations upon that.

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Jeremy
I didn't believe in evil until I dated it.