(grep( func($_), $thing ), 'default')[0]

While I wholeheartedly cherish this as a creation of human mind, you know that kind of comments would it raise in production code, don't you? (It's very obvious, but as with most obvious things, I wouldn't have thought of it...)

I was trying to be subtle. That's exactly the objection I was expecting, and it applies equally to the suggested operator, IMO.