Mmm... but does it have to be interpreted? I heard there was a compiler for Perl somewhere. Interpreted, it would have a lot of overhead. It might be feasible -- except that Perl is not as low-level as something like C, which would make it harder to do OS work with it.
my $0.02; # can't use $0 like that!
local $0; $0.=q(02); # OK
Perl "compilers" are not really true compilers in the same vein as a C compiler. Instead, they really just include the entire Perl interpreter as well as the script in one binary. This is due to the many features that require interpreting on the fly. One of the most obvious of these is eval.
When's the last time you used duct tape on a duct? --Larry Wall