There's a few problems, which some have touched on. However, what if I typed in a sentence for an insult? It wouldn't match if I used "disk" in a sentence, eh?

Try this instead:

#!/usr/bin/perl -w

use strict;

print "What is your insult? ";
chomp(my $input = <>);

my @matching = qw/disk duck deck/;

foreach $j (@matching) {
    die "bastard\n" if($input =~ /$j/);
}
[download]

Hmmm... can't we precompile these three items, incase they're used often?

--
$Stalag99{"URL"}="http://stalag99.keenspace.com";