Re^2: "Chuck Norris"-ing code

Chuck Norris can finish an infite loop in 1.3 seconds.
Code written by Chuck Norris cannot be optimized.
Chuck Norris doesn't need compilers nor editors. He roundhouse kicks the disk and the bytecode appears.
Chuck Norris doesn't use GOTO. Code comes to him.
Chuck Norris had a brief conversation with Donald Knuth in the early 60s. Donald is still writing about it.
Chuck Norris was once angry at the world. So he created Windows.
90% of the worlds spam is handtyped by Chuck Norris. It takes him only 3 minutes.
Every time you don't use "use strict" Chuck Norris kills a kitty.
All the good code on CPAN has been written by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can fill a ZFS in seconds, without boiling his blood.
The best compression algorithm in existence are Chuck Norris fists.
The one true bracing style is the one Chuck Norris uses.
Chuck Norris doesn't use subroutines to break down long streches of code. He roundhouse kicks instead.
Every program Chuck Norris has written can be run backwards. It will rollback whatever it did.
No matter how you encrypt your traffic, Chuck Norris can read it by just looking at the cable. His ears can intercept wifi transmissions.

Comment on Re^2: "Chuck Norris"-ing code

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Re^3: "Chuck Norris"-ing code by jdporter (Paladin) on Aug 05, 2008 at 12:57 UTC
Larry Wall, Randal Schwartz, Damian Conway, and Mark Jason Dominus are merely Chuck Norris sockpuppets.	[reply]
Re^3: "Chuck Norris"-ing code by TGI (Parson) on Aug 05, 2008 at 17:13 UTC
These make me think of the Knuth Facts and the Schneier Facts. TGI says moo	[reply]
Re^4: "Chuck Norris"-ing code by ambrus (Abbot) on Aug 06, 2008 at 10:01 UTC
The Knuth facts are obviously fake: they're indexed starting from 1.	[reply]
Re^5: "Chuck Norris"-ing code by JavaFan (Canon) on Aug 08, 2008 at 08:59 UTC
That's only because Bruce Schneider encrypted the first fact. And noone has a computer with large enough memory to hold Bruce Schneiders decryption key, so the first fact will be lost forever (or when Bruce decides otherwise); no point in displaying the encrypted fact.	[reply]
Re^3: "Chuck Norris"-ing code by Anonymous Monk on Aug 08, 2008 at 03:18 UTC
Chuck Norris doesn't debug, his code doesn't have bugs!! But if he is going to debug your code he only stares at your screen until every bug squashes itself.	[reply]