...which unfortunately puts me right back where I started. It's not that I don't have tools; I know how to write an SQL statement, and I can crank out reams and oodles of Perl code. The problem is that I can't figure out how to shape this problem so that I can apply the tools. :\

If I stuff this info into a database (how do I organize the data? What's the guiding principle for storing it in one structure vs. another?), how do I retrieve it to serve the goals that I stated? That's my problem - it seems like the interface would determine the structure, and the structure would determine the interface. Meanwhile, here I am starving to death between two piles of hay.