I want an api to control moods. mine and those around me.

my $mood = "sh**ty";
global $MOOD = "sympathetic";

or

my $mood = "great!";
global $spouse_MOOD = bitchSwitch(OFF);

or

my $mood = "football";
global $mood = "sportsmania" | "quietly play in yard";

of course we would want some security on this system as the deleteAll() could have some less than desirable results.