Not everybody is interested in this sort of social interaction. That doesn't mean that it's wrong or bad or likely to stunt your development as a Real Hacker. ;-)

Does one really need to use any of these to become an excellent hacker?

No. I can't see why it should stop you from becoming one, however.

Would all the time on Perl Monks/IRC/newsgroups be better spent in front of a book and/or a text editor?

That depends. Are you missing deadlines (personal or professional) because you chat a lot?

Has anyone else "had it" with all the (flame|holy)wars going on?

Sure. Everyone (well, almost everyone) gets tired of that sort of thing. I found it was simplest to just learn to ignore them. Each of us can only really control our own behavior - it's impossible to make anyone else "behave". ;-)