After reading about the eternal ascent society I feel a bit left out. I mean, what about all the rest of us that don't make the cut for heaven. We still want to get a jump on the afterlife too!

I'm thinking of marketing a sister service using a special (patented) lead-weighted cement descent chamber (probably with more colors than just blue, red, yellow, and green), where a loved-one can get the jump on a non-heaven version of the afterlife, from a ship or plane, over the water, or your local volcano.

Please contact me soon, if you are interested in a franchise - the best markets will be going fast...

-Craig