The sole reason for my dabbling here is the length of names of the outgoing and incoming teams. I'm sure the sages will see right through my lame masking of characters, but hopefully there are at least a couple surprises.

use strict; use warnings; use constant ist => q{3}x2; my @eye = "7966668565836672654747677772736968787889" =~ m|(..)|g; ${_}||= # Back to our $whitehouse='BUSH/CHENEY' # Texas & .$/||\1; # Wyoming foreach my $W ( map { s|(\d+)|chr($1)|eg; $_ } map { "\LS!". join( chr(ist), pop(@eye), pop(@eye), $!) } (2001..2009)=>undef){ $!=~eval $W} die((!$!)?uc:$::)

Update: With whitespace and comments:

use strict; use warnings; use constant ist => q{3}x2; # ist = '33' (and chr(33) = "!") my @eye = "7966668565836672654747677772736968787889" =~ m|(..)|g; # [79,66,66,85,65,83,66,72,65,47,47,67,77,72,73,69,68,78,78,89 +] ${_}||=our $whitehouse='BUSH/CHENEY'.$/ # or, $_="BUSH/CHENEY\n" ||\1; # this can be ignored foreach my $W ( map { s|(\d+)|chr($1)|eg; # change numbers to letters $_ # e.g., s!89!78! => s!Y!N! } map { "\LS!" # lower-case 'S!', or 's!'; . # plus join( # the following, chr(ist), # joined with '!': pop(@eye), # last in list, e.g. 89 pop(@eye), # and last-1, e.g 78 $! # and nothing, for an extra +'!' ) # return things like "s!89!78" } (2001..2009)=>undef){ # fancy for (1..10), but with s +ome # subtle commentary on W's time $!=~ # more stuff to ignore eval $W} # eval s!89!78! etc. against $_ die( (!$!) # no errors, so $! is empty, so !$! is true ? uc # and so die("$_"), or die("OBAMA/BIDEN\n") : $:: # eye-candy: we don't get here )