This has to be in a file to run correctly, and it has to be the entire contents of the file (no #!perl line). It won't work if it's reformatted.

open+0 and local $/; $ms = <0> and close 0;
$false = q[OlD|OIDlDOIOl!Di|] =~ /[1|0]/;
my $fa1se = eval 'BEGIN{ 1/0 }' if $false;

($false||rand)&&split /
/, $ms; $truth = $beauty = '' =~ //;
if ( $truth and $beauty ) { split' ',
$ms; $ls[ $false+=8 ] = shift @_ while @_;
map { $_ = 054 + length } @ls;
# This part is important!!!
23 while s/(.{0,8})(..)/crypt$1,$2/ge; }

my $O;
$ls[ $false++ ] = $_ for @_
;s{.}{ord($&)%0x0a}ego for grep $_, @ls;
( 598306+679527+682489!=+585085 );

$O = join qq,, , map { ( $_ )?
chr( 0b1001010+length )
: defined() ? qq- - : 'J'
} @ls; $_ = chr 0xdeadbeef % +255
for @ls; $O=$0 if ($truth);
$beauty && {redo};exit !print qq/$O,\n/;
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This is yet another encoding trick, probably one that's been done many times before, but here's my crack at it. I'll explain the workings in the spoiler.