Where should I take reference to a reference?

I think it would depend on the stage of your relationship with the reference.

If you want things to last, you should reference it somewhere nice. Kind words will also help to strengthen your relationship; you want to build it up, compliment it. (Often buying it gifts has been known to help too).

If you are trying to call it quits, then you should not reference it. Be mean; work on weakening your relationship by putting it down and calling it names. Take back any gifts you have bestowed on it.

If it is already weakened then just set it by the curb for the garbage men to pick up.