This should be my last one for awhile. It follows a healthy walk through perlsyn, perlfunc, perldata, and perlop. It started life as Joined And Packed Hack, but I decided the "H" would be better served by a hash.

use strict;;use integer;;use constant E=>4;;$-=
join$|=>pack+q{Z*},E<<untie my$noose or die;$/=
join$|=>pack"AA",exp,!untie my$shoe;@@=split$!,
join$|=>pack("A*",(fileno$~)x(E)),($^E)x(E);@[=
                 @@,@@[0,-~0]=@@[-~0,$[],@&=@@,
                 $&[~1]=$&[exp],%%=map{local$_=
join$!=>$/,@$_;
        pack+qq{\Ub$-},$[x($--length).
               $_}[@&],[reverse@[],[@[],[@@],[
               reverse splice@@,1,$#{@}],[$/];
die%%
[download]

Update: I just saw http://www.cpan.org/misc/japh for the first time, and noticed that abigail used tie my $shoe many years ago. Sigh. Please grant me that tie and untie are fairly suggestive, and accept that the similarity was innocent...