Again, the reason for my breaking code out into subroutines is simply for readability. I usually begin any kind of script I write in plain English statements, which form the skeleton of what I write. I break them out into subroutines versus blocks of comments because in the process of writing it, program flow may (and often does) change.

Lacking any psychic ability, I have no idea in advance of whether there will be a need or a benefit to calling a certain block of code repeatedly. If so, then great, I already have it pegged out as a subroutine. Now, i've heard rumors of people being psychic. Russians, usually. But for me, not so much. So, if you have a crystal ball, by all means, please share it with the class. Most people don't whip out stencils and flowchart their ideas on graph paper in a boardroom like it's 1958 before they sit down at the keyboard. We can afford to work on the fly.

And for the record, my boss loves it. :) It saves us a crapload of time and effort, and provides a heads-up for half a dozen people in the department. I even wrote a version that pumps out results in preformatted HTML, readable in Outlook. :)

Regardless, you have inspired me. I think I may write a flat script that repeatedly calls a subroutine that tries to determine what object is currently lodged in your butt, and remove it, so you'll feel better. Call it a hunch, but I have a sneaking suspicion it's a rhinoceros beetle. Only the sharp horn-like protrusion on the head of a rhinoceros beetle could account for your seemingly patronizing, antagonistic, and downright irritable response. The evidence is overwhelming that you may have a bug up your butt...Certainly, enough so to warrant the creation of a script for its detection and removal.

May I ask if you have visited a tropical region or rainforest lately?