Well, thought about doing an obfusication (and may yet), but for the meantime, I am bubbling far to much with this news:

#!/usr/bin/perl -w

my $boy   = "Carter James Fuchs";
my $count = "2nd";
my $weight= "7 pounds 8 ounces"; 
my $length= "20.5 inches";
my $date  = "May 3 2001";
my $time  = "18:20";
my $me    = "proud daddy";

print <<End_of_Announcement

the_slycer became a $me for the $count time tonite
$boy was born on $date at $time, 
weighing in at $weight and was $length long.    

End_of_Announcement
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