Each production returns the result of its last rule, so

character:  /\w/ {print "Character: $item[1]\n"}
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returns the result of the { print ... } action. You want

character:  /\w/ { print "Character: $item[1]\n" } { $item[1] }
[download]

Of course, it doesn't make much sense to print in a production the parser might backtrack through the production.

But what's up with "chatterbox"? Why not use IRC like everyone else?

Browsers don't speak IRC, they speak HTTP (mostly).

And the chatterbox is associated with an IRC channel.