I have no comment on the substantive issue but I would like to note that fullermd's reply goes much deeper than the others. I'd like to see more upvotes for it.

The OP is a classic example of "How do I do this clumsy thing?" (I mean no disrespect to morrin by saying this. I often attempt clumsy things.) "Here's how to do that clumsy thing" is a good reply; "Here's a less clumsy approach" is much better.