This time I've moved away from encoding the ascii values for 'just another perl hacker' and utilized perl's XOR handling for strings. This might not be too portable (forks off processes--sorry dos), but if you have problems (besides with fork), visit my last node, and look at the top. Well, enough talking, here's the code:

if(fork){wait;b()}else{a()}sub a{$_=join('',map{
eval pack('c3',$=+($^F+$(.(($^F+$()**$^F)),104,
114)}$=-$(-$)-$^F-++$.-$.,++$.+$(.$^F*$.,++$..
$^F*$.,$^F*--$..$(^$));$_^=($^X|reverse$^X);
substr($_,$()|=$"x(length($_)-$));print;}sub b{
$@='a2bcde1gafbg3ad5hi0j8';($a=$@)=~
y%a-z%\~\:\+\;\=\/\-\'\$\&%;;for(split//,$@)
{$i++;if($p=fork){wait;next}if(~$p){select$l,
$x,$d,.2;y%a-z%\~\:\+\;\=\/\-\'\$\&%;$
t=$i>10?rindex$a,$_:index$a,$_;$$="^@{[substr
($^,$[,($=/10+$())]}^____^$~$^F";print substr
($$,$t,$()^$_;exit;}}}
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The 15 year old, freshman programmer,
Stephen Rawls