There's no way to define a sub to have the same syntax as print

I always thought function $foo $bar is another notation for $foo->function($bar) (which is also often used to imitate the new operator from other languages). So for example the following works:

use warnings;
use strict;

my $mp = MyPrint->new(*STDERR);

$mp->myprint("foobar\n");
myprint $mp "foobar\n";

package MyPrint;

sub new {
    my ($class, $out) = @_;
    return bless { out => $out }, $class;
}

sub myprint {
    my ($self, $text) = @_;
    my $out = $self->{out};
    print $out $text;
}
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I don't really know why STDERR->print "foobar" doesn't work though. It dies with

Can't locate object method "print" via package "IO::Handle"
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although the documentation says something else.