CB inspired filk :

[Supplicant singing]
hello
is there anybody in there?
just talk if you can hear me
is there any monk at home?
Come on, now
I hear you're all gurus
Can you help me with this code,
The stuff I put into a node?

[Monks singing]
Relax
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it dies?

There is no die? Then you are recoding!
Poorly written scripts are verboten!
You don't know how perl behaves.
You read through perldoc but you don't know what it's sayin'
When I first started, I was not a believer
My code just felt so confused
Reading this, I feel like that again.
I can't explain, you would not understand.
This is not how perl should look
I have become uncomfortably glum

OK.
just a little --
There'll be no more Aaaahhhh!
But you'll never get to novice

[Supplicant singing]
Can you reply?
I want to see who voted
Cause that'll keep me in the know
Come on and reply to my node!

[Monks]
There is no answer for us to give
Your question's so convoluted
You should look in [super search]
Try not to flame us; don't give in to that urge

[Supplicant]
When I was a monk I caught a fleeting glimpse
of some obfuscated code
I turned to look but it was reaped.
The votes are used, the node is gone,
I have become uncomfortably glum