Now, this code works correctly but throws the old "Exiting subroutine via next at <line>" junk to stdErr and I don't like that.

Why not do the obvious, and turn off the warning? The warning is Perl saying "You're doing X, are you sure?". If you are sure (and you are), you ought to turn off the warning. Changing you code backwards just to avoid the warning shouts to anyone reading your code that you do not understand warnings.

Remember, warnings are there for the programmer. They are a tool, nothing more, nothing less. Do not become a slave of warnings.