You realize that if we were to help you do this abominable thing, we'd all be committing a cardinal sin against Perl?

That said, when I help my Java friends debug their regex problems, the most common problem they have is that they have to put their regex's in strings. So you can't just say something simple like \s, but you had to \\s all the characters that have special meaning (like \ and quotes and such). That might be your problem... dunno...

Now I'm going to go take a shower. I feel dirty.