Wow, I read the source code for that, a perlmonk definitely did not write that. No use strict at all. All global variables, no mys at all. It undefs $/ and doesn't even reset it. Instead of simply saying:

open FH, 'foo.bar' or die "could not open";
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it says:

open FH, 'foo.bar' or print 'could not open' and exit;
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It's filled with those print '...' and exit commands too, not just in the open call. I can see many places that need improvement. It is a neat idea though, if not useful, then just fun.

The 15 year old, freshman programmer,
Stephen Rawls