Hello Larry Wall, I am script-kiddie performing illegal denial of service attacks, please visit my website PerlNights, someone may be impersonating you
Come soon, I'm honest, I promise
It wasn't me, dunno who it was. And I'm no script kiddie, I'm the father of the Internets newest Turing complete programming language!
If my awesomeness bugs you, try breathing into a paper bag or something, but shut up :P