We don't use Perl because of its language-goodness

I do. The CPAN don't enter into it for me at that level. I was virtually unaware of its existence—but not of its various competitors in the high level language space—for the first 5 years I was slinging Perl. I know it's a little bit of the post "Death of Perl" party-line that sure Perl sucks but, hey, look! the CPAN! I've never felt that way at all. I wouldn't be a software engineer if I couldn't use Perl at least most of the time. Paraphrasing what TEH DAMIAN said: I like Perl because it lets me hack the way I think.