Oh yeah, I remember that: Nervous sub.

I do get a warning since you're using ?.? as a pattern match delimiter without specifying 'm' in front of it. You might either suppress the warning, or add the 'm' in the appropriate place. I know that may deobfuscate slightly, but so does the warning. :)

Cool way of doing it, and golfed down to four lines of code where mine was five. :)