CANDIDATE FOR A PULLET SURPRISE
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.
Jerrold H. Zar.
WHY ENGLISH IS SO HARD TO LEARN
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
This was a good time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I read it once and will read it agen
I learned much from this learned treatise.
I was content to note the content of the message.
The Blessed Virgin blessed her. Blessed her richly.
It's a bit wicked to over-trim a short wicked candle.
If he will absent himself we mark him absent.
I incline toward bypassing the incline.
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And not let's not forget...
An English Test
We’ll begin with box, the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of mouse is never meese.
You may find a lone mouse, or a whole nest of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be pen?
The cow in the plural may be called cows or kine,
But a bow if repeated is never called bine;
And the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
If I speak of a foot and you show me two feet,
And I give you a boot would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?
If the singular’s this and the plural these,
Should the plural of kiss be ever writ keese?
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim!
So the English, I think you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.
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homonyms (they sound the same)
AKAIK, homonyms are words that sound and are spelled the same (but have different meaning). I'm pretty sure mixing them up in writing doesn't confuse anyone. Homophones are words that sound the same, but may be spelled differently (so, every homonym is a homophone, but not every homophone is a homonym). And homographs are words that are spelled the same, but may be pronounced differently. So, a pair of words that are both homographs and homophones of each other are also homonyms.
Now, I'm pretty sure that are tools out there that can parse text and have a basic semantic understanding of the text (which is necessary to be able to determine whether there's a problem with homo{graphs,phones}). But they may not be on CPAN -- it's far more likely they are available as ready-to-go applications. Perhaps you should inquire in a linguistics forum, they are likely to have far more expertise in this matter.
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Is this trivial, hard, impossible?
It is hard (probably impossible) problem but it is probably well studied , and many (universities published) open source solutions exist , which are state of the art and produce good-enough results
Off the top of my head, you might start with Lingua::Wordnet or starts with Lingua::TreeTagger, identify the parts, then look-up each noun in a dictionary of homophones ( say common english homophones for dutch speakers), maybe with Text::Soundex
You'll notice WordNet description doesn't exactly mention homonyms, but that is where a non-linguist like me would start.
See also Perl and Linguistics, Text Analysis Tools to compare Slinker and Stinker?, Natural Language Software Registry, Perl and Linguistics
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