JARRING CHORD
The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain --=Macphisto=-- enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles --=Ovid=-- has goggles
pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Fang --=buzzcutbuddha=-- is just Cardinal Fang
Machipsto: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two
weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an
almost fanatical devotion to the Pope Larry the I.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as
fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
The Inquisition exits
Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
JARRING CHORD
The cardinals burst in
Machipsto: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless
efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope Larry I, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!
To Cardinal Biggles I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Ovid: What?
Machipsto: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Ovid:
rather horrified: I couldn't do that...
Machipsto bundles the cardinals outside again
Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
JARRING CHORD
The cardinals enter
Ovid: Er.... Nobody...um....
Machipsto: Expects...
Ovid: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Spanish...um...
Machipsto: Inquisition.
Ovid: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -
Machipsto: Our chief weapons are...
Ovid: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Machipsto: Surprise...
Ovid: Surprise and --
Machipsto: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Cardinal, read
the charges.
buzzcutbuddha: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. 'My old man said follow the--'
Ovid: That's enough.
To Cleveland Now, how do you plead?
Clevelnd: We're innocent.
Machipsto: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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