This is an animated obfu, so it takes a few seconds to run. It's been tested under linux only, I'd appreciate someone letting me know how it fares under windows. Enjoy!

#!/usr/bin/perl *{'$'}=\*{_};*a=\*{1};**=sub{shift};sub'w(&@){$$[1]->();$$[0 ]->()}sub ::8 (&){&*}sub't(&@){*{$$[0]->()}=$$[1]->();}sub'h (&){@$;}w{w{$h=1;while($h){$h=0;for($c=0;$c<806;$c++){$s2=~/ ^.{$c}(.)/sx;my$d=ord($a);$s3=~m[^(.{$c})(.)(.*)]s;($e,$f,$g )=($a,ord($b),$3);my$h=chr($f!=$d?++$h&&($f>$d?$f-(32->(23-> (3))):$f+(32->(23->(3)))):$f);$s3=$e.$h.$g;}sub'j{o->($s3,$/ )}sub=>j{o->(`$cl`)}}}h{w{$cl='cl'.($^O =~/win/i?'s':'ear'); t{23}h{::8{rand(&*)}};*|=::8{my$s2=&*;$s2=~s/$\///g;(*>,*<)= &`;my@q=split('',$s2);$i=1;for(my$j=0;$j<=851;$j++){while($i <793){&>($q[$i]);$i+=(62);$j++;}$i%= 793;}793->(&<);};$s2=f( 60,&|($s2))for 99->(7);*b=\*{2};t{'o'}h{::8{print@_}};}h{*`= ::8{my @x;::8{push@x,&*;},::8{@x}};t{99}h{::8{$,,$,}};t{32}h {::8{int(&*)}}; t{793}h{::8{join("",@$)}};sub'f{$$[1]if$$[1] =~s((.{$$[0]}))[$a$/]g;}s&$/&&g;$s2=$$;$s3=f(60,$$);}}}h{s() *.iotT, hnn chie i in.a esIco e i.ew r I a f l h n iAe e"ie nl ptat n oe s ked m n . t o oa e r t r m eahr- s gier fatcp n lodg me as s onpo e o e n r t o . e gk v hyee h ss i l in . e o . u r t k w s f c h Tfy-n uyha iH sm o hea feH rion v " b r a o. y d h n e ..sTaM ep m e'iec u lia. h l"t o h u l o i i . " a-i oTte .no,r epn rir s s ea k e . w. o r n t in n .ai"d n huto vr cn p l . t"erh t do a n e d . , d e r h ne.ocrt n em eneai i hgr n . a a h . t e u hm .. -ea t ir 'esne e .n obeg t ey t k d g d . m v h.d eh.Cnoc oepe vah aoI . g al v o m s sa y eksmoh g f Ikiet c ne.i tt ku n n n r u a d e e tdnr vTt ite hhph eMwfs e e o , g . , u l d e f o ' uD a r*};

Update: Changed to try to detect windows properly.
Update2: Just checked it under AS-Perl, it scrolls instead of clearing. I'll revisit fixing this when I have a working windows box at home again.

P.S. De-obfuscations most welcome;)
-- I'm not a cryptographer, but I play one on TV.

In reply to Symbol table mayhem by J. Random Hacker

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