Well, the original problem is worse than that. Perl is installed on the web server. This script is also there. It needs to run as a nightly task that grabs a file from a user's home directory and FTP's it to a different server. So, I can't run the Perl.exe program as that user since it will be used by other processes. That user account is locked out of local access and only has that user's folder access perms.
BLAH!?!?