I've suggested you take a break and adjust your priorities, so have several other monks. You've even gotten a suggestion to get some neutral counselling. You really should consider taking that advice.
I'm not mocking you, I'm giving you the best advice I can. It appears (to me) that you're borderline obsessed with this stuff. Let it go, persue something that brings you joy for a few days and see what happens...
In reply to Re: A New Respect
by pboin
in thread A New Respect
by Intrepid
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