All this tells me one thing: Perl does not support abstract method natively, and that's why you are introducing this junky. The title is misleading, by mentioning 5.8, you can easily mislead newbies to believe you are dealing with something native to Perl, even potentially a particular version.
Perl is not OO, so why waste all this energy to fake it. If OO is the preference, go with some other language, for example Ruby.
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