Just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it too (and to let Jouke have his turn to carp at me ;)) 
$_->()for map{my$y=$_;sub{print$y}}(split qr,,,q,use re;$y=~tr/kn
ol/Japh/c;$,)[map-0141+ord,q=uabldv;prlxfmdwfeoidxvzofe==~m~.~g];

[download]
With apologies to John Porter on the FWP mail list

Warning The line feed after the kn should not be deleted!

Spoiler 
$_->()                # Execute closure
  for map{
    my $y = $_;       # Lexical for closure
    sub{ print $y }   # Create closure
  }

  # Create a list by splitting q,, text into characters
  ( split
      qr,,,           
      q,use re;$y=~tr/knXol/Japh/c;$,
                      # ^... Place holder for line feed
  )

  # Create a slice into the text list above. The contents
  # of [] are the indices of the characters that I want to
  # use in the text above, in the order I want to use them
  [ map               
      -0141 + ord,    # $_ - ord('a')
      q=uabldv;prlxfmdwfeoidxvzofe= =~ m~.~g
                      # Splits into characters
  ];

[download]
 

-- 
I knock my pate and fancy wit will come
Knock as I please, there's no one at home
      a pontiff paraphrased

[download]

In reply to Not quite a JAPH by Tyke

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